Say A Prayer

I know i'm not suppose to drink alcohol when i'm down or depressed or something but sometimes it just can't be helped. Today was one of those days, i'm suppose to go for prayer in my cousins house, prayer for the dead (40days), for my cousin and my nephew who passed away because of a car accident, today i couldn't make it because its the time of the month again and my mood swings are not really in the happy zone and i just couldnt bear to bring myself into that state of hopelessness as when i felt on the day of the accident.

I wanted to go home after work and drown myself in my cyber games but while sitting in my car and looking at the clear blue sky i feel like goin for a drive instead. In the end i ended up at loft. Eva wanted to go if they serve wine and i just feel like driving so i volunteer to go to loft and ask the bartender if they have their house pouring, turns out they still have no stock and in the end i ended up having my usual long island tea.

Being numb when you don't want to feel anything kinda helps in a way, just sit there and enjoy the sunset. Sipping and killing your brain cells slowly (haha) won't really make your troubles go away but it does help by not thinking about it for a while, until your heart or your mind can take the sadness again.

Bear in mind that Long Island Tea at Loft can only be consumed if you are 100% sure that you can handle the long drive home after that. I was fine until i had Mel's Borneo Iced Tea, had only a sip . . . well maybe a gulp . . . and i was so freaking high. So not a good thing to do when you are suppose to only numb your feelings and not your brain as well. Take note, there's not a drop of tea in that Borneo iced tea drink. Come on gimme a smile . . . this entry is getting a bit too serious. I need to stop doing this when i'm high. I might say something unforgivable one of these days. Unforgivable to me not to you . . . :p

Say a prayer for my cousin and my nephew in heaven will you . . . and pray for my soul as well. Thanks.