I am me.

Its funny when all your years you have been nothing but spectators in the crazy world of mixed feelings, hidden feelings and broken hearts and then out of the sudden blue morning and twillight night you realize that you're finally dragged into the world as well.

No longer to be able to just watch from the sidelines, no longer to be the one to offer both shoulders to the salty droplets from your dark brown eyes.

How do you prepare your heart to the sudden jump? How do stop your hands from trembling?? and how do you even be able to force yourself to sleep without dreaming or thinking of the obvious??

Hurting your physical self or drink your sorrows away seems like the only solution that your muddle brain can come up with.

You are your own worst enemy.

Walls crumbling, typhoon of emotions, everythings in a purple haze . . . it's all because you have fallen deeply into a world that you have never dared to go into. Feels like you're drowning in your own emotions.

I'm not running from you.

But you have pushed me aside. Why bring me into this world if only to leave me in the dark? Why grab my hand and lead me through the door only to trap me there and throw the keys??

What if i wanted to break? I'm finding an exit but i keep coming back to you. I keep hearing your voice even tho its beyond the walls that i couldnt climb. You make me want to climb up, leap, jump and throw myself into the fire. Into the fire of forbidden emotions. You're making me helpless.

I can't stop myself.

When words mean nothing and actions seems to be getting in the way. Then i guess i'm meant to dissapear. Trapped in a world beyond imagining. Stuck in your deadly game. Hopeless by your gaze.

I need the rain. I am facing the impossibility. You're killing me.